My mom had been the best person ever. My everything. She is 43. Ever since I was born (2002), she has been my everything. Growing up she always went everywhere. I actually had a behavior problem which caused me to be obsessed with her. I threw up when I was 3 because she walked outside and I didn’t go. That behavior problem of missing out on life because I couldn’t go anywhere unless she did is gone now. Thankfully.
My parents always had a good income. Combined they had around 140,000$ coming in a year. I had a dream home. A boat, a camper. Any toy I wanted. Oh boy, she ruined my life.
In 2008, I was 6, she changed. She lied to my dad, who’s a very hard worker and made over 100,000 a year. And trust me, he earned it. Sleepless nights and stress on his body from carrying heavy stuff.
She stopped caring. She turned into her mother. She didn’t go to anything and then proceeded to avoid family vacations so my dad, sister and I went vacationing ourselves because she said she needed a “break”. My mom was a daycare provider so I grew up at home with her.
I never saw my dad, maybe an hour or two a night. My mom used to go on vacations paid for by her new job as a sales representative. “Paid” which a few months ago I found out weren’t. She paid for all those trips. She traveled around the world by herself for fun. Yeah, she was with her job but they didn’t pay for the plane tickets, cruise rooms, Mexico trips. Over 10,000$ a year my dad earned for her to lie to us. She gave her friend our spa Mother’s Day gift because she didn’t want it, LOL.
She wasn’t much of a mom and didn’t care. Before anyone says, it wasn’t something personal going on. At that time, in 2012, I still wet the bed (yeah.) and she actually tried embarrassing me to get me to stop. Who does that?
She just changed. In 2012, we moved to a new house in the city. I saw my dad more often. I didn’t see what my mom was like. Everyone else did. She avoided anything I did and when I got my period in 2014 she made fun of me and told her friends. I didn’t want that. I was embarrassed and thought asking for help would help and no.
My parents divorced in 2014. My sister dated a 21 year old and smoked so much drugs and my mom let her. Even let the pedophile sleepover.
She took my dad’s money, my dad found online dating profile on her laptop. Caused my dad’s life to suck.
So when I finished grade 6, I moved to Brockville, Ontario for grade 7 with my mom and sister. My dad remained in our old town by himself.
Throughout grade 7 I met a guy, literally changed my life. Instead of supporting it she just called it unhealthy. Which sucked? October 2014 my sister left because she couldn’t handle living with my mom. Mostly my sisters fault actually.
I stayed. I visit my dad on the weekends. In 2015, in August we moved again. That year in grade 7 rocked. I had a social life and got over my social anxiety, well it was better. So was my depression. She let people take advantage of her and didn’t care that I was depressed.
So we moved to Kingston. I started a new school. 1/2 through the first day I had a mental breakdown. I changed schools. That year I told her I was depressed. She didn’t care. Called me crazy in fact. She always asks my dad and sister for money because they have jobs. She does too, and she has a decent house and 2011 car. But still. She sucks at financial stuff.
She didn’t help me with anything I needed. Losing my brother, my best friend in October caused my mental health to plummet and I was in and out of the hospital. She didn’t care. I never got my therapy appointments. Whenever I have money she takes it for smokes and stuff. And obviously I can’t say no. Last week she asked me for 200$ because she haven’t eaten in two days. I can’t see my mom starve. She bought cigarettes for her and my nanny and ordered food. I love her to death still. Love sucks. I couldn’t even go to my friend’s house for the weekend and go to a water park without her asking for money. What kind of mother asks their kids for money?
She makes fun of me, tells me I didn’t do something or I don’t know something if I say I do. Even though I do. I hate people who do that, like, you aren’t me. I know I know them or did that.
Just tonight she told me she wishes I moved out faster and that it’s not my time to see her.
I’m moving in with my dad in two weeks. He hates her.
You may think she’s absolutely horrible. But I’m only saying the bad things. She has good things too. Memories that make me cry that I’m moving out. But it’s for the better. My sisters a bully. I can’t even get advice about high school. (Which I could really use.) Because she is mean. She’s moving in with my mom. My mom’s already expressed she’s excited for that, obviously.
I hope my dad’s better. I want to cry writing this. Life sucks.
Now I’m stuck on depression medication and forever sadness because of this past year. I got my brother back. But I still suffer.
I’m moving back to Brockville soon.
My mom told me that saying I want to kill myself is for attention. It’s reached a point of insanity living with her. I love her, though.
I don’t have anyone to talk too. I feel like I’m the only logical person in life that cares. Everyone I know does drugs. Even the person I love most did it. I really only held onto life until I found that out. Maybe it’s because I feel jealous that depression stops me from having fun.
After all standing in line to order and crying of a panic attack makes it hard to live life. So does falling in love with someone who doesn’t like you.
Yet another rant, over.
From that information, you can decide what my mother is like.
I do still see her as beautiful and amazing though.