How can I develop self confidence and self esteem?

shy woman

Hey there, what you’re looking for is inside you, just as it is in everybody else. What you gotta do is give it the right conditioning and ‘twill most definitely be seen!!

I want you to do something for me, I want you to go out to a coffee shop, buy a cup of coffee and sit at a table.

Now look around at the people in the shop, I guarantee that most of them are experiencing the same feelings as you are. Most of them will be feeling unsure, inadequate, anxious and awkward.

You are normal.

You have faced many of the situations which people find most stressful.

Whether or not you were ever in a relationship with this girl, you wanted to be – in your mind’s eye, you envisaged a future, or the loss of something you wanted so much was hard to bear, the loss of hope is a bitter pill to swallow.

You may feel threatened, again, that is completely normal.

Feeling out of one’s depth leads to feelings of vulnerability.

Sometimes when we feel like this, we reach the point where we can deal with these feelings without help. This may take the form of counseling or behavioral therapy or of medication.

That is scary too; no-one likes to admit they need help.

Let me put it another way.

If you broke your ankle, you would seek appropriate help. You would consult an orthopedic specialist and a physiotherapist.

Feeling anxious and scared and vulnerable is exactly the same. There are professionals who can help and it may be wise to speak to those people.

There are simpler things that you can do as well, you can try and reconnect with those ‘old’ friends.

The thing about our closest friends is that they are there for us ‘no matter what’.

Reach out to your friends; rediscover what it is about ‘you’ that made them your friends in the first place – honesty may be the way here. There is nothing wrong in saying ‘I am struggling’ and I am sorry that we have lost touch.

You have had a few setbacks, that is, unfortunately, how life happens sometimes.

There is a way forward. You have taken the first step; you have recognized that things are not as they should be.

As Lucille Ball said, ‘I’d rather regret the things I’ve done than regret the things I haven’t done’.

Your friends and family will want to help you. Let them.

Don’t regret not letting them in.


Lou Davis



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