What does it feel like to marry from another country?

I married someone from Ireland, I am American. After we split up, I entered into a long relationship with a Brit. I feel I can speak at length to these issues.

In a close-quarters relationship, it’s the little differences that affect you. My ex-husband was driven crazy by my scattered trips throughout the day; he felt it was wasteful because the cost of petrol was so high. I felt that he was too focused on minor expenditures because of my American attitudes toward waste.

Settling in one country is always hard, because the outlaws get left behind. Oftentimes, they don’t take too kindly to you for that- or it’s your own parents who are on the other side of the pond.

In my subsequent relationship, communication landmines were often scattered in the field of discretion. Us Yankees know little of subtlety and seem crass, whereas British folk are more circumspect and indirect (and we see this as deceitful.)

Cumulatively, the devil is always in the details. While you may think picking a country and a future path is hard, on a day to day basis you’re more likely to be enamored in a mosquito net of communication failure. It’s not exceptionally hard, but it’s one of those things you best understand backwards, alas.

Still and all, I haven’t dated an American since I was 16, so it’s not all bad 🙂


Kim LaCapria




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