I had a girlfriend once; I did it out of curiosity. I could never understand other people and the way they reacted with their girlfriends, it seemed so…. unreal. I felt nothing different even when I kissed her. Very quickly into the relationship she started acting like other people, it looked so fake. I responded with the same, or similar, gestures she came up with. It didn’t hold for too long because it became too boring. But I know that as a partner, if I’m not bored, I make the perfect boyfriend because I can read the other side, and adjust myself to seem like the perfect choice.
Love is overrated and irrational. I never manage to understand how a couple can last for so long. I also don’t understand why people in my age always chase after relationships, it’s dumb not only because it’s irrational but also because it never lasts for too long, and I find their pathetic belief they will stay forever in love an unrealistic and childish way to understand (or not) reality. Before I found out I can’t love, I was certain I will find someone to love after my PhD and main research work, because people always say that you can’t understand love until you feel it, and it’s unconditional, so I took that into account. Luckily for me, I now know that I don’t have to be bothered with that nuisance. Although in the same time I will have to do it to seem normal and without even fucking enjoying it. I have my entire family on my tail now, wondering how come I don’t have a girlfriend (“given all my good qualities” as they annoyingly love to say it sometimes). I hate it that those dumb fuckers think they can intrude my privacy like that. The next time someone will ask me about it in such an annoying way I will flip on him to make my point: “My life, my business, you don’t like it? Piss off, I couldn’t care less, idiot”. I had times when someone was legitimately curious about it and he made sure he doesn’t sound annoying while asking so I didn’t mind answering.
To conclude, I never had too many troubles with getting into a relationship, but I don’t need/want/enjoy them unless they actually provide me something.