Boyfriend and I had just started living together and I really wanted to be the best possible girlfriend.
I was thinking about the inevitable discrepancy between what is most important to me and where I put my time.
From Monday to Friday, I spend roughly 3 hours a day with my significant other and 10 hours a day at work.
I resolved to make sure I had energy for him at the end of the day: to welcome him home with a hug and a smile; to talk about our day over a nice dinner sitting at the dining room table rather than in tired fragments mumbled during commercial breaks.
So I hear his keys rattle against the keyhole. I open the door wide and hug him and kiss him and welcome him home.
“Honey” he says “could you let me put my stuff down and take my jacket off and give me a few minutes to catch my breath?”
I immediately feel like he’s not happy to see me.
I was telling a friend about this calamitous turn of events and he asks: “Dushka, why are you taking this so personally?”
Him: Is it possible that Boyfriend has things going on before his arrival to your house? That he had a long day, work to get through, traffic to sit through? You are a total introvert. Surely you understand when someone else needs space?
Technique #1 to develop emotional strength:
Realize that nothing is personal.
This “separation” between how another person reacts and you will improve your relationships, make you less self-centered, reduce unnecessary drama and forever set you free.